“The Penny Drops.The fact that you’re reading this book
means you’re onto something. Maybe a particular event burst the bubble and a
small gap opened up as a result. A gap in what, you’re not sure, but you felt it.
It happened when a significant person in your life went that little bit too
far, and you finally said to yourself: “This is not normal. Why am I tolerating
this crap?””
What makes you
start questioning the friendship/relationship you’re in?
Is it one-sided? When you try to express an opinion is it
always side-lined as stupid or irrelevant? Does your friend twist things so
that they become the focal point again? Are they able to manipulate you by putting
up so many arguments or obstacles that it’s pointless carrying on? Do you get
tired of walking on eggshells around the person because you know that one slip
of the tongue will cause an unnecessary emotive reaction? Do they try to
supress you from being yourself…to make you feel inferior? Does this person always
have a drama unfolding around them that they just have to share with everybody
around them? Are you actually getting any real pleasure from the relationship, or
are you just kidding yourself that you're having fun?
At the point you start asking yourselves these questions,
you’re also probably trying to find an answer to them….just to make sure you
haven’t actually gone insane. Google becomes your best friend as you start
reading up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the various articles make
you realise that you have been trapped into a world you didn’t believe you were stupid enough to be dragged into.
Phrases like “gaslighted” are used. I’ve seen the play
Gaslight from which the term derives from…surely not? I’m savvy…aren’t I? I
couldn’t be manipulated like that…or could I? Why would I befriend someone
like that? Algorithms point to an interesting book, you buy it and as you read it you realise it's about you and how you managed
to fall down the rabbit hole so easily.
The problem is trying to establish what is normal human
behaviour and what is narcissistic behaviour. This book tries to unravel this
question by looking at who narcissists are and to whom they are most likely to
target and why. If you can understand the core of the problem, you are better
equipped at dealing with it and ensuring you are not the target of other
narcissists in the future.
