Terence Rattigan - various plays (Box Clever Challange - June)

I watched Flare Path earlier this year, plus I had tickets booked to watch Tom Burke in The Deep Blue Sea, and then someone mentioned to me that Alison Dowling and Tamla Kari from The Musketeers were starring in another Rattigan play, While The Sun Shines. I had read Flarepath, and was about to read The Deep Blue Sea, and thought that instead of reading just one novel this month, I would try and read a number of Terence Rattigan's plays instead.

The thing that I find I most like about reading Rattigan's plays is that they are very much like reading an ordinary book. Rattigan does not have characters speaking over each other, and his pages are filled with descriptions that allow you as a reader to visualise what is going on, and so rather than ending up feeling confused (as happens with some plays when you read them) with Rattigan you know what is happening, therefore you are given the opportunity to think more deeply about the context of the play and the depth of the characters.

Flare Path (1942) 

The play is set during WWII and centres on the lives of Bomber Command, a group of Lancaster Bomber pilots and gunners. The play touches on the difficulties brought on by WWII and the effects that the war wrought on both the pilots and their wives.  It is a play that will tear at your heartstrings. The scenes take place in a hotel lobby, where wives have either come to stay for the weekend, or in some cases, the duration of the war. During the weekend that the play is set, a famous actor, Peter Kyle, turns up to stay, it transpires that he has come to visit his former sweetheart, Patricia, and he wants her to leave her pilot husband Teddy. It is a shock for her to see Peter, but it seems that she maybe swayed into leaving her husband; that is until an emergency bombing raid is announced. The atmosphere of the play suddenly changes as we witness the fragility of human life, and the reality of what pilots and their loved ones endured.

We see the calling up of the men, and we spend the evening with one of the wives, Doris, and the squadron commander, Swanson,  as they watch the flare path (the lights on the runway) as it is lit and the bombers take off. As each plane slowly soars into the sky, the relief felt by those watching can be felt. Swanson: "It's all right. He's off. I thought he wasn't going to make it. He must have cleared that fence by inches."  The charged atmosphere changes from relief to fear as the lights on the flare path are suddenly switched off.  The aerodrome is being bombed by the Germans, a ploy of theirs was to wait until a flare path was lit before flying in and bombing the aerodromes.  The fear of the onlookers is felt as they watch helplessly, knowing what is about to happen but knowing that there is nothing they can do. Swanson: "Brakes, you idiot, brakes! Don't take off!"  "An aircraft crashed or was shot down, taking off."  Just reading these lines sends a shiver down the spine as your mind visualises what would have happened.

It is apparent from this scene the stalwarts, Doris and Swanson, have witnessed this countless times. The matter of fact tone that Doris uses belies her fears. She maintains her stiff British upper lip, and to the rest of the the group it is almost as if she doesn't care, that she doesn't have the same fears as they do. Earlier in the play Peter and Patricia even mention that Doris' marriage to the Count is false, and that it would be of benefit to Doris if the war continued. It is when Doris confronts them on what she has heard that she lets her guard down and we see the real Doris, not the brave woman putting on a show. Doris: "I know what you meant. You meant my Johnny's going to leave me flat the minute the war's over. That's what you meant. I'm only all right for him as long as the war goes on, and as soon as it's over and he gets back home he'll realise he's made an awful muck-up in marrying me and he'll - he'll- (Chokes and turns her back quickly). "I don't know it isn't true. I wish I did. I think it is true. (Turns round. Defiantly.) But I don't want the war to go on - just because of that."

The play touches on the stoical courage and high spirits of the RAF bomber squadron and the duty that they have to perform, and it focuses on human relationships. The relationship and trust of the gunners towards the pilots; the passionate romances between a husband and wife; and the difference between having love for a person, and actually being in love with a person. It is a play to amuse, to reflect and to question the lives of those who lived through the war years.

While The Sun Shines (1943) 

This was a difficult play to obtain. I couldn't find a new version of the play, however, diligent searching found me an early edition, costing slightly more than the 4 schillings advertised!  The play is an upbeat farce, and as the only thing I had previously known Rattigan for was Flare Path, it was a delightful surprise and escape to read. I was physically laughing out loud at the more ludicrous moments of the playQA and also in eager anticipation of what was yet to come!

Central to the play is the marriage of Lady Elizabeth Randell (an airforce corporal during WWII) to The Earl of Harpenden (Bobby). Bobby hears of the plight of an American Lieutenant, Joe Mulvaney, he has no where to stay, so Bobby offers him his flat as it will be empty following his wedding the next day. Bobby has been having a romantic liaison with Mabel Crum, which he has acknowledged will have to end once he is married to Elizabeth, and so he decides that he will arrange for Mabel to keep Joe company. Bobby leaves Joe in the flat alone, during his absence Elizabeth arrives, but Joe mistakes her for Mabel and gets her rather tipsy so that he can try out his best lines of seduction.

Elizabeth is rather taken by this American, but to add further to the complications, she has found herself being a good Samaritan to a Frenchman, Colbert, who resides in England. He mistakes her kindness for something more and tries to woo her in typical French style. Matters become increasingly complicated because whilst Elisabeth is not the brightest of women, she does realise that both her marriage and military career could be put in jeopardy. The Earl is rather a buffoon too. He has had countless interviews with the Admiralty to make him an officer, but he has ballsed up each one and remains an able seaman in the Navy instead. "In the first place I was a quarter of an hour late, then I found myself overdoing the free, frank, open boyish manner and got the jitters and became far too servile and cringing, and my hair was too long and I hadn't shaved and I didn't know how many twopenny-halfpenny stamps I could buy fir half a crown. In short, for the fourth time in this war, I proved conclusively both to the Admiralty and to myself that I am not the officer type."

The play's characters become more and more confused as they get more and more at cross purposes with one another. Of course, because the audience is aware who is who, they can watch this drama unfold and enjoy the entertainment of the witless characters trying to make sense of it all! It is an enjoyable and entertaining read and guaranteed to make you laugh. The original play ran for over 1000 performances when it was first released, which shows just how well written and enjoyable it was.

The Deep Blue Sea (1952)

Like Flarepath, WWII forms a backdrop to this play and it shows what the effect of war had on people and their relationships. It is perhaps one of Rattigan's most emotionally charged plays and continuously pulls the reader apart as you battle with your conscience deciding whether you should side with Freddie or Hester.

Tom Burke is currently starring alongside Helen McCrory in a run at The National Theatre, London, and so I have added my thoughts about the play to my summations of plays that Tom Burke has appeared in. To read just click on the link below.

http://imblatheringnow.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/the-deep-blue-sea.html

The Winslow Boy (1946) 

This is a particularly interesting play because it is based on a historical event and shows Rattigan's interest in the Law. His family had been lawyers and solicitors, and he found sitting in court an ideal place to find material for his plays. In reality, a young cadet had been asked to leave the Royal Naval College at Osbourne because he had been accused of allegedly stealing a postal order. The cadet was called George Archer-Shee, and whilst Rattigan created his own characters for the dramatisation of the play, he did stick with the most relevant parts of the actual case.

Master Ronnie Winslow arrives back at his middle-class home in pre-war (1914-1918) Britain. He is not expected by his family for a few more days. The maid, Violet, is the only one to see his arrival. When he hears the rest of his family return home, he hides in the rain in the garden, but later reveals himself to the confidence of his older sister. He has been thrown out of naval college for allegedly stealing a five -schilling postal order and he is a young and scared little boy as to what the family reaction will be to the news. It is a comforting part of the play that when he does tell his father, his father knows his son well enough to know whether he is lying or not, and so starts the begging of a long fight for justice.

The play takes place over a period of nearly two years, and it shows the struggles the family faced to win justice in the name of their son. The play also shows the divides within the family, from those who believed they should fight at all costs, with those who wanted to give in gracefully. The British justice system did not allow the Admiralty to be taken to court, not without its own consent, so the family faced a long battle to get the case to court before justice could even begin to be considered.

All inquiries into complaints were done in-house, and whilst it does not state this in the play, in real life the Archer-Shee family were Irish Catholics and there was an anti-Catholic prejudice at Osbourne Royal Naval College, and therefore it was unlikely the boy would have been given a fair hearing. In Rattigan's dramatisation, the family has engaged the most prolific barrister they can find, and he subjects poor Ronnie to a heart rending interrogation before agreeing to take on the case. We don't however get to witness the drama of the courtroom, instead, the play concentrates on the family home and how the constant strain on trying to clear Ronnie's names takes it toll on his father.

It is a powerful drama, and shows that despite the odds, David can take on Goliath if he has faith that the truth will out. Sadly, whilst the real George Archer-Shay was cleared of his crimes, he died in the trenches in 1914 at Ypres aged 19.

The Browning Version (1948) 

The first in two short one act plays.

This is a simple but poignant play to read. It takes place in a boys public school in the south of England. The schoolmaster Crocker-Harris (or Crock as the boys preferred to call him) is on the point of retirement. He is a strict housemaster who plays by the rules and demands the respect of the boys under his tutelage, this means that some of the boys feel they are hard done by, especially as some of the housemasters show more leniency of the rules than Crock does. But whilst Crock has this hard outer shell, one of the boys, Taplow, can see through him. Despite having fun mimicking Crocker-Harris behind his back, Taplow feels sorry for him and gives him a small parting gift.

Crocker-Harris' wife is younger than her husband, and evidently bored by him. She has fallen for one of the other teachers, Frank Hunter, and has had the tenacity to tell her husband of her affair. She does not care how much she hurts her husband by her betrayal, even though she is aware that Andrew does not love her the way she loves him; it also becomes evident that this is not the first affair she has had. Frank can not believe that Crocker-Harris has continued to live with such secrets, so in a particularly poignant scene he explains matters to Frank "I know that in both of us, the love that we should have borne each other has turned to bitter hatred. That's all the problem is. Not a very unusual one, I venture to think - nor nearly as tragic as you seem to imagine. Merely the problem of an unsatisfied wife and a henpecked husband. You'll find it all over the world."

 As the play develops we get a sense of who Crocker-Harris is, and whilst outwardly we may wish to condemn him, when he lets his mask slip, and we see the real man,we can not help but have empathy for him, as Taplow and Frank appear to do. The simple gift Taplow gives to Crocker-Harris is the catalyst to make him reflect and evaluate the rest of his life, and give a sense of hope for his future.

Harlequinade (1948) 

The second in two short one act plays.

Just like While The Sun shines, this is another laugh out loud play. It focuses on the world of the theatre, and if that is what an actors life is like, I really feel like I have missed out. The main actors in the play are a married couple, Arthur Gosport and Edna Selby. They are playing the rolls of Romeo and Juliet, who are 17 and 13, but it is clear that the actors are actually both middle aged and doyens of the theatre and oblivious to what happens in the real world. It is just before opening night and Arthur is tweaking the performance, amidst Romeo's most famous speech, he suddenly decides to add in a theatrical leap, to add to the boyishness of the part. This unexpected manouvre causes Edna to laugh at him, and a conversation ensuing about whether or not it is a ridiculous notion to be leaping about the stage.

Arthur: Does it look awfully silly? I won't do it again.
Edna: Oh no - you must do it. Come on. Let's try again.
Arthur: No. I won't do it if it's as funny as all that. I only thought it might help the boyishness of the line, that's all.
Edna: And it does. It looks very boyish. (To prompt corner.) Doesn't it look boyish, Johnny? 

Rattigan throughout the play builds layer upon layer of comic elegance to the play. From the old dame who refuses to retire, to the elder mediocre actor who is not sure why he has spent his life in the theatre, to the stage manager who needs to escape the madness of the theatre, it is all piled into this one act play. Even the characters who are not part of the theatrical production add a lightness and air of confused bewilderment to the piece. The woman wandering around the stage requesting to meet Arthur (who Arthur believes to be an actress wanting a part in The Winter's Tale) turns out to be his daughter. Johnny (the assistant stage manager) is given an ultimatum by his fiancee, but as the play goes on you know he can not succeed to her demands, and so his fiancee delivers a fine speech towards the end, making the confused Arthur believe she is an actress and he wants to cast her in his next production.

But despite all of the comedy, Rattigan of course has a message to deliver, and there are some poignant moments amidst all of this mirth. Arthur, who lives in this confused world of his own, finds out that he has a grown up daughter, a baby grandson, and that he is still married to his first wife and has committed bigamy. The fact that he has committed this act washes over him. He is completely oblivious as to the seriousness of his crime. "You mean, I might have to pay a fine - or something like that?" ... "Imprisonment - for life." 

The actors in this play live for the theatre, not in the real world and they have a one track mind, "But why, when I'm playing Romeo of all parts? Why couldn't it have turned up when I was playing Lear?" They are sealed off from the reality of life by their entourage of staff who look after the day to day running of the actors lives. It is this which gives the play it's over the top comic edge, despite the catastrophe potentially awaiting Arthur, nothing matters, except that the show must go on.  A great play to read if you should ever need cheering up.

Separate Tables (1954)

Both plays are connected by the fact that they are both set in the same Bournemouth residential hotel; each play focusing on a different set of characters and exploring the different facets of love. The plays are set about 18 months apart. Rattigan is an observer of people and no-where is this more noticeable than at The Beauregard Private Hotel in Bournemouth. Individuals with their secrets to tell sit, mainly alone, at their own tables, living their lives, and the audience ventures into their worlds. Whilst both plays take place in the same venue, each play concentrates on a different guest, and the secrets uncovered will leave you sad, amused and reflective.

Table by the Window

John Malcolm is a journalist. A former politician. A drunkard. A wife beater. An ex-husband.

He lives a quiet life at the hotel, until one day his ex-wife walks in and announces she is now engaged. He confirms he is engaged, but does not confirm that it is to the hotel owner Miss Cooper. There is a lot of tension and animosity between the couple. When they were married, Anne provoked John into a violent act which caused him to be sent to prison which ultimately destroyed his career. John claims that it is his fault his life fell apart, but when he hears that Anne is talking to his publisher, and he realises that it is no coincidence that she has tracked him down to the hotel, he confronts her and says she is now too old and ugly to manipulate men as she once did in her halcyon days of being a model. Anne has a breakdown and confesses everything to Miss Cooper, including her addiction to sleeping pills and Miss Cooper acts as the go between to help reconcile this emotionally fraught pair.

Table Number Seven

This play follows the downfall of the self-styled "Major" Pollock who has tried to conceal a local newspaper article which reported him of sexually harassing women at a local cinema. The guests at the hotel believe that the Major is an upright citizen who has served his country, however, Mrs Railton-Bell uncovers the Major's dark secrets and she tries to lead a rebellion with the other hotel guests against him. She is a formidable and domineering character, and her grown up daughter lives in fear of her, never questioning her mother. Sybil, despite being painfully shy has been able to strike up an awkward relationship with the Major, and therefore finds it particularly difficult to agree to her mother's demands against him, and so it is with relief that we stand by Sybil as she eventually finds the courage and determination to rebel against her mother. As in Table by the Window, the hotel owner Miss Cooper is the voice of reason

In Praise of Love (1973)

This is a very tender play, based in part on the real life tragedy of Rex Harrison's wife, Kay Kendall, who was dying of cancer.

A wife, from Estonia, who has manged against all odds to survive the horrors of war and escape from the holocaust is now dying of an illness brought on by malnutrition in  her earlier life. She bravely carries on going to doctor's appointments where the news is increasingly worse, yet she puts on a brave face and tells her husband than the news is positive, that she is getting better, in order that she may save him from the hurt of knowing that she is dying.

Her husband is a writer, he works from home as a critic, and he appears to the outside world as harsh and unfeeling, and the early conversations between the two seems harsh and critical. It is only as we proceed through the play that we realise that he adores his wife and has been secretly trying to find the best medics available in order to ensure she has the best chance at survival. Both parties in love with each other, both parties keeping a secret from each other.

The couple have a son, he wishes to write plays and become a member of the Liberal party, however his political leanings are met with derision from his parents. Whilst his mother tries to encourage him in his dreams, his father seems distant and cold, but perhaps he has other things playing on his mind that he cannot discuss with his son or his wife. In this threesome, we see another form of love evolving, and that when things are said, it is only because each person cares so deeply about the other that the words appear so uncaring.

In Praise of Love is a moving story of three people who obviously love each other very much, but they are unable to articulate their feelings, that is until an old American friend drops by. It is clear that he has always felt more than friendly affection towards Lydia, but his relationship with her husband and son is close enough for him to allow a channel of communication between all of the parties. An American visitor, who is not as repressed as his British counterparts, allows each character to unburden themselves. as they face their own future and the difficult road ahead.

Before Dawn (1973)

This short play was written as a curtain raiser in conjunction with In Praise of Love. It is a comical reworking about the opera Tosca. In it we have the villain of the piece, Scarpia; a confused captain, Schiarrone, and the diva at the centre of everything, Tosca.

Scarpia has imprisoned Tosca's lover, and tells her that her lover will be released if she succumbs to Scarpia's amorous advances. Tosca eventually agrees, only to find Scarpia impotent. Of course Scarpia does not want this to be known, and tries to enlist the help of the unwitting Schiarrone, by concocting a plan about whether Tosca's lover should or should not be executed. The confusion that arises is exquisitely written, and it is a light ending to some of Rattigan's harder and more emotional plays.

Schiarrone: (After searching Scarpia's face carefully) Yes. The Signora is to be taken down to the platform where she is to bid adieu to her lover -
Scarpia: (Murmuring) No Schiarrone -
Schiarrone: (Undeterred) While the firing squad level their muskets at them both -
Scarpia: (Murmuring again) Not exactly, Schiarrone -
Schiarrone: And the muskets of course, are to be loaded with blanks, not balls. Never fear, Excellency. I have the whole thing pat.

He looks pleased with himself. Scarpia does not look pleased with him.


Rattigan has written many more plays, and at some point I will eventually get around to reading and watching them too. I have really fallen for his style of writing. He has taken note of human behaviour and he is not afraid to show the destructive nature of the human condition nor take on the social challenges of his day. He wrote about depression, suicide, politics, homosexuality; but whilst he tackled the difficult issues of his era, he did it in a manner which was entertaining and quite subtle. He was not afraid to make his characters flawed, unlikable, even violent and unkind. I think that is why he is able to still strike a resonance with readers today. Despite his plays being written in the 1940's/1950's, they still hold true to a modern world. Yes the language has evolved over the years, we don't speak with the clipped tones of the quintessential Englishman anymore, but the messages and meaning of the plays still hold true, and still strike a resonance with the reader.

Tracking Tom to Towton! (A Weekend of Tom Burke and Tom Jones!)

It was a friends birthday and to celebrate we were heading out to Doncaster races to hopefully win a few pennies and then watch Tom Jones perform afterwards. Now I've seen the Welsh Warbler a few times and he is brilliant live, he can still really belt out those numbers, so it seemed like it would be a good weekend, but just to make it even better, I asked my mate if she fancied taking on another one of our infamous road trips on the way home!

Of course Kate was up to the challenge, without me saying a word, she already knew it had to be Tom Burke related! When he was performing in Reasons to be Happy, I asked him about the film that he did with his father as part of The Complete Walk for the Shakespeare celebrations. Tom advised that he was in Henry VI part 3, and that they filmed in a small church, near to where the battlefield was in Towton. Looking at the map, it wasn't too much of a diversion on the way home from Doncaster, so we were set, plans in place for the weekend!

Kate....Can we go visit? Purleasssseeeeee?

Can we look for this father and son....can we????

The weather on Saturday was perfect for a day's racing, and it looked to be a good omen for the Sunday. We drove up to Doncaster the scenic way, crossing the moors around Manchester, which was stunning as the heather was in bloom. It was gloriously sunny in Doncaster, all the girls said hello and then ran off to various rooms to get changed and ready for the afternoon. Our taxi arrived on time (that's a first) and we headed out to Relish for lunch. It's a "contemporary bar and grill", I felt a bit like I was in that short film that Tom did called The Brunchers, "their facial hair confusing me and making me feel old!" It's actually a really nice place and the food is really tasty, so people don 't go there just because it's trendy, but they actually get a great meal and service too!

Lunch was washed down with a few bottles of wine, and so the slightly tipsy entourage weaved its way to Doncaster racecourse. Now, my dad was always fond of putting a couple of quid on the horses on a Saturday and then sitting in front of the TV in the afternoon to watch them romp home last...if he was lucky!!! Having learnt from the master, I never stake more than £2 each way on a horse. Always been my way, and even though last time I was at Doncaster I was lucky enough to have a few good winners, I still stick to my £2 rule. There were 7 races, and as the first race started we ran out of the lounge and onto the balcony to cheer on our horses. First race, first winner!

The rest of the day continued well, with horses being placed, then the 5th race dawned. There was a horse called Stirrups and Spurs and I really fancied it. I put my £2 on and it romped home in first place. I hadn't bothered looking at the odds or the form, so you can only imagine my face when the cashier handed out nearly £80! Champagne for the girls!!! Not bad eh?! Someone said I should have put a bigger stake on it, but you know full well it wouldn't have won if I had!!! Then I had another horse placed, and one I backed which I think is probably still running. I calculated that I spent as much as I won over the weekend, so that's not bad, pretty much a freebie weekend!! The racing over, it was time to head down onto the racecourse and watch Tom Jones. This was where I lost the girls, I didn't realise as I edged forwards towards the stage that they weren't following me! Fortunately we had our 'phones, so after the performance we were able to meet up and find our taxi home, and pizza and more fizz were waiting for us. My friends house was in the middle of no-where, it was the perfect place to have a hot tub, and so we took advantage of this fact, and sat in her hot tub, listening to music, drinking fizz and watching the stars.

Time to track down Tom & Daddy Burke.

Next morning it was another beautiful sunny day. I was really pleased, because I didn't fancy traipsing around a muddy field trying to find out where the hell Tom and Daddy Burke had been filming. Surprisingly none of us had a bad head the next morning; we took advantage of the warm sunshine and had tea and toast outside, how wonderfully civilised!

After breakfast we loaded Kate's TomTom (what else?!) with the co-ordinates of Towton battlefield and headed off into the Yorkshire countryside on another of our grand adventures. Suddenly as we whizzed along the country roads, a pub appeared from no-where, and we caught sight of a small brown sign indicating a church. We pulled into the pub car park and headed down a little lane towards the church. It was the one they had filmed at, and it was tiny! I fiddled with the lock and gained entry to the church. I don't know how they got a film crew in there. As I stood cooing over the fact I was where acting royalty had stood, Kate did something infinitely more useful and looked through the visitor book. "They filmed here 12th December 2015" she shouted across to me. Oooohhhh that's only a few days before we saw Tom at the carol service I thought!

Let's watch the film again...

As there was no-one else in the church, I got my laptop out and watched the play in the church! "Ohhhh that's the bench Tom leaned against" CLICK CLICK CLICK went the camera. "Ohhhh that's where Daddy Burke was sat", CLICK CLICK CLICK! I know I am problem demented, but sometimes exuberance takes over and there's nothing you can do about it.




Despite the church being very very small, it is beautiful and well worth a look if you're in the area, especially if you like Tom or David Burke and you've watched Henry VI with them in it. It brings it home just how different things appear on film. I thought there were two doors into the church. No. Only the one, the one that Tom staggers through with the body. I managed to stay in the church for nearly an hour, which seems impossible, but there you go. We left and wandered to The Crooked Billet pub, which I heartily recommend. The atmosphere is wonderful, and the food even better. I had one of their large Yorkshire Puddings, filled with vegetables and veggie gravy. It was to die for. It was really tasty but so filling I had to forego pudding, which is a shame because they looked delicious too!

Onwards...to the battlefield...

Now finding the church is one thing, finding a lone tree in a field in the middle of no-where is a ridiculous notion by anyone's standard; but that is what I was planning as I headed up the road to the village of Towton, where the actual battle took place. There was a lay by in the road which I pulled into and I saw an information board describing part of the history about the battle. As Kate and I stood there reflecting about where we were (and I stood thinking, where the hell was that shot at the start of the film of a lone tree in a field?) two gentlemen walked up and started chatting to us. It turned out they were amateur historians and had walked the entire battle route. Kate jokingly told him that we were there to try to find a single tree in a field. They told us where the walk started, but that they couldn't remember seeing a lone tree. They said "don't walk down the footpath, it's overgrown and very muddy. Walk down the road until you see a ridged field, then hop onto the footpath there." We thanked them and headed down to where they suggested, the ridged field was a field of potatoes...and there in front of us was the sole tree I had been looking for.

I couldn't stop laughing. The irony that "Tom's tree" would be situated in a field of potatoes had me in stitches. For those who are not Tom fans, this is what he said in an interview with TV Times magazine about working on The Musketeers, 'We all eat healthily but nobody has ever come up to me and said "Tom, do you really need that potato?" '

The Brothers Karamazov - Fydor Dostoyevsky (Box Clever Challenge - May)

"The murder of brutal landowner Fyodor Karamazov changes the lives of his sons irrevocably: Mitya, the sensualist, whose bitter rivalry with his father immediately places him under suspicion for parricide; Ivan the intellectual, whose mental tortures drive him to breakdown; the spiritual Alyosha, who tries to heal the family's rifts; and the shadowy figure of their bastard half-brother, Smerdyakov. As the ensuing investigation and trial reveal the true identity of the murder, Dostoyevsky's dark masterwork evokes a world where the lines between innocence and corruption, good and evil, blur, and everyone's faith in humanity is tested."

The book is narrated by an unknown person who tells us the trails and tribulations of the Karamazov brothers. He recalls the events that he has witnessed, but as he goes off on tangents telling his tales, he sometimes shows his cynicism to the events which unfold. Just like when a person you know tells a story and they go off at tangents, so does this storyteller. The book does not have a linear feel, and it can get distracting as you leap from one tale to the next and as a reader you never fully resolve the first tale before moving onto the next and back again. You therefore need to keep your wits about you to recall all the events, and what has happened to whom; this is made more difficult by complex Russian names, and people also being referred to by different nicknames throughout! Don't start reading this book thinking you are in for a quick and easy ride, set time aside and enjoy the complexity and brilliance of Dostoyevsky's writing.

Who killed him?

The book loosely falls around the murder of someone and it becomes a rather long and complicated "who dunnit". This is by no-means the main focus of the story though, the reader is questioned throughout about their thoughts about crime and justice, the redemption of someone through suffering, and the conflict that families face as they deal with moral dilemmas. It is a highly philosophical novel which questions your beliefs as you read through it. It is set in 19th Century Russia, and Dostoevsky opens up passionate debates on religion and spiritual and ethical questions. He has cleverly created three completely different characters, three brothers, who in their own way try to answer the complex question about human existence. As we read through the book we see the characters evolve, and try to deal with their personal sufferings the best way each one can. Human nature is seen here in all its forms, and you are torn in your feelings as each character develops. At times you feel empathy, anger, despair. You question them, you feel joy with them, you hate them...every emotion you can feel is there between these pages.

The main characters are Fyodor (father) and the three brothers, Dmitri, Ivan and Alyosha. Fyodor is something of a ladies man. He is insensitive and selfish, he doesn't care what effect his actions might have on those around him. He is not an attractive man, but he is rich and can afford to throw his money about on lavish parties, and therefore he is able to get the attention of the local ladies. As he falls in love with a woman called Grushenka, his troubles, and the beginnings of his sorry tale begin to unfold.

Never get carried away by a woman!

Dmitri, the eldest of the three brothers, has also fallen in love with Grushenka. As we know, love triangles never end well, especially when you fall in love with someone as dangerous as Grushenka. In his quest for Grushenka , Dmitri spurns the advances of Katerina, a woman who has lent him a substantial amount of money. As the murder mystery develops later in the book, these events will cast doubt over Dmitri as we see during the murder trial.

The youngest of the brothers, Alyosha, is studying to become a monk. He is as far removed from the lifestyles of his eldest brother and father as possible. During his studies at the monastery, we enter a subplot as Father Zosima teaches him the values of the church. As tensions heighten in the Karamazov family, Alyosha decides a life in the monastery is not for him, and he tries to enter the "real world." He takes on the role of carer for a dying child, a plot which serves the purpose of showing the reader how a person's actions can indirectly influence those around us.

The final brother is Ivan. If Alyosha is the saint and Dmitri the sinner, Ivan must be the intelligence; albeit a rather skeptical intellectual. His pessimism throughout is rather heartening at times, and it shows his ability to think matters through for himself...however hard he finds things. He does not believe that God will make everything alright, he has his own beliefs which, as we hear him talking his thoughts through with himself, often makes him appear selfish.

The path to virtue...

The path to virtue is being honest with yourself. If you can not be honest with yourself then there is no way that you can be honest with those around you, or see their honesty in them.  From a religious point of view, if you lie, you are a sinner, and redemption can be obtained, but only through suffering. This brings into question can there ever be a benevolent God? If suffering is required, what about the suffering of young innocent children? Should they be included? They know no better, so if they lie, do they have to be punished by suffering, or would it be better for them to learn by teaching and compassion? "pray tell me what have children got to do with it? It's quite incomprehensible why they should have to suffer."  If God is willing to see children suffering, those who are even too young to have been sinners, it must mean that God gets a kick out of torturing people. And if God enjoys torturing innocent souls, then why should man not follow suit, and why should man revere God?

Life...isn't is absurd?

Not surprisingly, the issues about belief and religion and the innate personality of a person is still as relevant to today's reader as it was when it was written by Dostoyevsky in 1880. Liza, another sub plot in this complex story, became an especially disturbed character, purposefully crushing her finger in a door. The ideas of self-harm, living in a fantasy world wanting evil and bad things to happen...to dance with the devil, they are not new ideas, they have been rife throughout the centuries and continue with modern mankind. It is possible to argue that the issues are more prevalent today with the advancement of the internet and social media. In 1880 you could walk away from abuse, today with the advancements in technology it is harder to do. Even if you hit block or mute on an account, it doesn't stop your name being taken in vain; comments are still spread like wildfire from people with no moralistic aptitude to think about whether their actions are justified before hitting the "post" button. People in Dostoyevsky's time were questioned about their morals, and that still holds true to people today. People have, and always will be, walking contradictions. Life is somewhat absurd if you try to make sense of it, and by reading this novel, and "watching" the lives unfold of the characters within it, you find yourself starting to try to piece that jigsaw of questions floating around in your mind.

Genre: Fiction, Russian Lit, Classics, Philosophy

Release Date: 29^th April 2003

Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd

Pages: 1013

 

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The Burketeers out on The Deep Blue Sea

It's been a little while since I'd met up with the Burketeers, so I was really looking forward to seeing the old faces back together (and of course seeing Tom on stage was an additional bonus!) I knew that as usual I would end up in a bit of a flap, because my train arrived at Euston at 12:05 and Angie had arranged for us to go on a backstage tour of The National Theatre (on the Southbank) at 1:00. It would be cutting it fine to say the least!

Stop The Clock...

I sat cursing the chap next to me who refused to leap out of his seat as though he'd been stung by something and stalwartly just sat there letting everyone else of the train whilst he gathered his belongings together (slowly!) Once off the train I hurtled to the underground and headed to Waterloo. Surprisingly I was at Waterloo for about 12:30, so the next conundrum was if I should head to the hotel to drop off my bag or head straight to the theatre. I decided that the hotel wasn't far from the station so I'd head there, forgetting Waterloo has about 50 exits (OK, slight exaggeration). Anyway I stood looking vacantly on the roadside and decided to head left, a few minutes later I saw the welcoming sign of the Premier Inn and so I ran inside to dump my bag and ask directions for The National Theatre. The chap at reception was lovely, but again, the male of the species does not recognise the word hurry, and so he dutifully explained in detail how to get to my destination. I snatched the map off him and started running in the direction I had just come from. I felt like Anneka Rice on Treasure Hunt, hurtling off down the road, hair flapping in the wind, and a face going a strange shade of vermilion, all I needed was an orange jumpsuit. I ran to the theatre in less than 10 minutes (STOP THE CLOCK) That's the first time I've run anywhere in a while and hopefully it is the last time too!

By the time everyone else arrived I had resumed breathing in a more normal manner, however I was still in a bit of a flap and unable to get my rather funky dayglo orange safety vest on (still not a jumpsuit) for the guided tour. If ever I have felt a bit stupid, it was then! The tour itself was brilliant, and I can only thank Natalie and The National Theatre for allowing us to view what goes on behind the scenes. Natalie was very informative and it was a joy to listen to her. I was surprised that we were allowed backstage so close to the curtain going up. Props had already been laid out and we were under strict instructions not to touch anything! We got to see carved wooden decorations which were not made of wood at all, but some lite rubberised material, and into the workshops where the set designs are created.

They're dropping like flies...

Once the tour had finished a group of us sat and had a spot of lunch together and then we wandered slowly back to the hotel to get ready for the evening. I had heard that one of our group had not felt well on the journey down, but was feeling a bit better now. By the time we got back to the hotel, a second member of the party decided it was their turn to lie groaning on a cold ceramic tiled floor. The remainder of us sat rather worried outside the disabled toilet wondering if by 7pm there would be anybody left to watch Tom on stage that evening.

Tom obviously has a Lazarus effect on people though, no-one will miss him, and so fortunately a full complement of Burketeers met at The Lyttelton Theatre (part of the National) to watch Helen McCrory and Tom Burke perform in Terence Rattigan's The Deep Blue Sea. It was a stunning production and you can access my thoughts on the play by clicking here. http://imblatheringnow.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/the-deep-blue-sea-national-theatre.html


"I can do things with my hands" 

Once the play had finished we hurtled to the Stage Door area. There was an tabled area nearby, and two unsuspecting men said it was fine for us to join them at their table. As we looked around we saw some of our party was missing, although once they arrived, it was fair to say the two men bolted off rather rapidly! The cast were having a birthday get together after the show, so we didn't see Helen McCrory or the rest of the cast. Tom however set foot outside and a number of fans started talking to him. One of our group wandered through everyone, tapped Tom on the shoulder and said something like "We're over there when you're ready". Bless him, he came wandering around the corner to say hello to us all. As we crowded around him telling him we thought the play was very good he suddenly said "I can do things with my hands." Hmmm I bet you can Tom!



So Tom started signing autographs whilst chatting away, and then he started having pictures taken with his harem of very happy ladies. He seemed very comfortable with everyone and posed making silly faces and had lots of general chit chat with people. Normally I won't ask for a photograph, but this time I asked my friend Mel if she'd oblige. Whilst Tom and I stood huggled together he said, "you're outfit's my favourite of the night." I was sure I'd misheard, or that he was talking to someone else so the snap was taken during my mid pondering, checking he had really said it, then thanking him!  Must remember next time, don't talk just smile!!! Still the picture is a fabulous reminder that I've spoken to him again and that it isn't some dream that I'll wake out of if I pinch myself. Really I should be grateful and not worry about what I look like, there's far too many people out there yet to meet him! (It's also a piccy with him whilst he's got short hair, so that's a bonus; I've been waiting for one at a Comic Con because I'm really stupid and didn't like to ask him for a photo at Carols or Reasons to be Happy.)

Once we finally let the poor man go, we headed off to find food. On our way down the Southbank some lady ran up to me and said "you're outfit is so cool...respect." To be honest I thought she was taking the proverbial, but apparently not. She stopped and chatted and then let me carry on. My friends Cheryl and Angie thought I knew her..."nope" I said, "never seen her in my life before!" We managed to find somewhere that was still open for food, but as per usual, it isn't a proper Burketeer night out unless we are thrown out of somewhere (church, cocktail bars, Hampstead Theatre...) so we were the penultimate people to finally leave the restaurant to wend our way back to the hotel and to stay up chatting into the small hours about how wonderful Tom is with us all!!

The day after the night before

The next day started with a lovely, lazy breakfast as four of us sat discussing the play and putting the world to rights. We then realised that we had agreed to meet some other Burketeer friends at Shakespeare's Globe. We hadn't checked out of the hotel and it was at least a half hour walk to meet them, and we had about ten minutes to get everything done.  No problem we rearranged to meet them a little later. We decided that as we had now walked breakfast off it would seem polite to sit and have a drink and ponder about what to have to for lunch. As we walked into the courtyard we saw another Burketeer out with her daughter... "cooooooeeeeeee" we all yelled and waved at her. (No, it seems you can't take us anywhere!)

We ordered a Pimms and as it was the only alcohol to pass our lips that weekend, it went to our heads rather quickly. We sat and talked and laughed, and Janet...oh we will have to put you on Pimms again...your comments were priceless. I haven't laughed to the point of being in that much agony for ages... "It's when you suck up something in your straw that you're not expecting!" (I had a vision of Tom popping out of the straw saying hello!) It was just one classic line after another. Once we had laughed ourselves silly and finished lunch we went for a little amble around the Globe's shop. A couple of purchases later, and we wondered what we should do next...well all this sitting around chatting is hard work, so we headed downstairs to the cafe for a cuppa and some cake! Then it was time for me to say my goodbyes and head off for my train home. The post Burke blues hit on the tube train to Euston, but I realised it wasn't Tom I was missing, it was my fabulously funny Burketeers!

The Deep Blue Sea -National Theatre 18/6/2016

I've read the play and formed my interpretation of the text. The physical play has divided opinions of those who have seen it before me. If you've read my summation of the book you will know that I formed am empathetic view of Freddie. Some people said that my opinion would change once I saw the live performance. I got the impression that people thought Freddie was a cad and a bounder for the way he treated Hester, whilst others couldn't see what he offered Hester or why she would want to leave her marriage for him. Rattigan has produced a piece of theatre which when you strip away the veneer, you see more than a distraught woman who craves our sympathy or a boorish man who should be tarred and feathered for treating Hester so mercilessly.

The cast and creative team should be proud of themselves for this heart rending, roller coaster of emotions, production. The stage is a large space, filled with a blue hued two story building. We can clearly see inside Freddie & Hester's flat, but we can also see the almost silhouetted images of the staircase leading to the other floors of the house, and the comings and goings from these flats at different points within the play. Seeing all of the action outside of the main part of the play, adds to the feeling that whilst Freddie & Hester's lives are falling apart, life carries on around them. You can see the close proximity of how everyone lives and how hard it is to keep a secret in such surroundings.

The play commences with the landlady letting herself into Hester's flat. There is a strong smell of gas, and the neighbour Philip Welch notices Hester's slumped body by the fire. She has tried and failed in a suicide bid. Whilst trying to make sense of the situation, a neighbour is called to give medical attention to Hester. Somehow it slips out that Hester is not married to Freddie, and as no-one knows how to contact him, Welch decides to telephone Hester's real husband to advise him that his wife has had an "accident."

Always tell the truth...

Hester, played with a certain fragility by Helen McCrory, makes a rather quick recovery and tries to sweep the serious events of the night before under the carpet. She removes her suicide note from the fireplace and pops it in her dressing gown pocket. This seems an innocuous thing to do, but it certainly plays an important role about how future events unfold. Hester makes it clear to the Welch's and her landlady that Freddie is not to be told about 'her little accident'.

Those who think that Freddie's reaction about Hester's suicide bid is a callous response must try and think about the life he has led so far. Hester herself says his life ended with the war. He is a man who is emotionally scarred from a life in the RAF, who can not help but find himself feeling hurt, angry and betrayed by this woman with whom he has tried to form a meaningful relationship with. The fact that she has tried to cover up the suicide attempt makes things worse...how can he trust her if she can't trust him enough to tell him how she feels? Tom Burke conveys this wealth of emotions brilliantly. I never feel much sympathy for a simpering character who feels sorry for themselves. When I read the play I wanted raw fury, and Tom delivered this perfectly. He is outraged that someone who is loved so deeply could do such a thing to him. Freddie is a vulnerable character, he hides behind a gruff persona, but the heart to heart he has with Jackie Jackson shows what a multi-faceted person he really is.

A toxic affair...

I admire Freddie for taking the bull by the horns. It was a difficult decision for him to make, but it was the right one, "I know this is right, you see. I know it, but with your gift of the gab, you'll muddle things up for me again, and I'll be lost." Tom Burke's portrayal was not of a weak man that warranted sympathy, but of a tormented soul, a man who has been through the mill; a man who then has such a shock that he realises being in love with Hester is not enough, their relationship is too toxic. He has started living his life through the oblivion of alcohol and she is so unhappy that she has tried to kill herself. He knows they have to part and he has to be the one to end it.

Two private conversations between Hester and Collyer, and Freddie and Jackie, show just how disparate Hester and Freddie view their relationship. Collyer: "You said just now his feelings for you hadn't changed." Hester: "They haven't Bill. They couldn't you see. Zero minus zero is still zero."

But in a separate conversation, Freddie: "Hell, it's not that I'm not in love with her too, of course I am. Always have been and always will." He then expands on this statement, he allows the audience to see him for who he is, he has always been faithful whilst he has been with Hester, he was the one who wanted to wait for her divorce; he was the one for who "All this hole-in-the-corner stuff gets me down." Whilst Hester does not believe that Freddie has ever loved her, it is clear that in his mind he does. He has done everything she has wanted because of his depth of feeling for her.  As Freddie is having this conversation, it becomes increasingly clear that he knows that Hester had been serious in her suicide attempt, she hadn't been playing a joke on him or seeking attention, and you can sense that this really has been a devastating blow for him. We see a war hero, crushed to the core and despairingly trying to answer why Hester would do such a thing. Even Freddie was capable of realising it was for far more than him forgetting her birthday.

For those who have such a negative viewpoint of Freddie, if he hadn't cared about Hester, he wouldn't be feeling such a strength of anger. He would have a feeling of indifference, and that would have been a far worse character than the one we see, angry, shouting and drinking himself into oblivion. If he hadn't cared, then the audience could be forgiven for thinking Freddie a cad and a bounder! But it is the fact that he obviously does care that means my sympathy lies more in Freddie's corner than Hester's.

Just what do you mean by "love" Hester?

Hester appeared to me as a rather needy character. Freddie put it succinctly when he said to Jackson "A clergyman's daughter, living in Oxford, married the first man who asks her and falls in love with the first man who gives her the eye."

Hester will have wanted for nothing as a clergyman's daughter, but she may have had aspirations of mixing with a higher society than that which she was used to. In her conversations with Collyer, it is clear she enjoyed the parties and the socialite aspect of her marriage, (as opposed to going on a pub crawl with Freddie) but there was obviously something lacking from her marriage for her to leave everything for the first man who paid her some attention. Collyer did not love her in the manner in which she wanted to be loved, this is later echoed in her relationship with Freddie, as she believes he has never loved her. With respect to her relationship to Freddie, when you watch this particular performance, it is evidently untrue that he never loved her.

In the book I didn't feel any sympathy towards Hester, all of my emotions were poured into "poor" Freddie. But Helen McCrory's portrayal of Hester did soften me. There were times I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be OK.  The character Miller figuratively performed that role. He has obviously suffered in his past, he was once a doctor, but stripped of that job in disgrace. Nick Fletcher played the role with great restrain, he didn't overdo it with the emotions, but he made it clear he had suffered in his past.  His slight German accent and comment about living on the Isle of Man for some time made me wonder if his past had included being a a Jewish internee at the Hutchinson Camp? Whatever his past, he had come to the point where he no longer wanted to live life, but he had got through those difficult times. Whilst his new job as a bookmaker was not ideal, it allowed him to pay his rent, and he continued his work for free in a hospital. He had a new life, and he informed Hester that she could too, if that is what she wanted, but she would have to do it for herself.

There is a callous swine...and it's not Freddie.

It is interesting that towards the beginning of the play, Welch describes Miller as 'a callous swine' however, towards the end of the play I think he is the one who deals the hardest, callous blows to Hester. His attitude is far worse than anything Freddie or Miller dishes out. He enjoys his role of the man of the house. His wife dotes on him, she looks up at him proudly when he is on the telephone being so commanding; but he is a bully unlike Freddie; one who subtlety abuses those around him. It is pure arrogance of him to tell Hester he knows how she feels, to compare her feelings to his. He had become infatuated with an actress that he 'thought he loved'. His answer to the problem was to go on holiday "I know if you do think things out honestly, you'll see how awfully petty the whole thing really is - when you get it in perspective." I could feel myself drawing a sharp intake of breath and desperately wanting Hester to slap him! Hubert Burton should be commended for his performance of this odious man!

'Sorry to have caused so much bother'

The play is to be commended on all fronts. It is a play full of facades; the stage mirroring the issues that the characters are dealing with. Whilst the story is heart wrenching and full of angst and despair, you are immersed into a world of subtle humour, both in the words of Rattigan and how they are beautifully delivered, especially by Helen McCrory and Tom Burke. When you consider how dark their lives have become, it is admirable that the characters were able to be so flippant with one another.

The Deep Blue Sea is currently being performed at The Lyttelton auditorium at The National Theatre, London until 21st September 2016. National Theatre Live will be screening a performance at various cinemas around the country on Thursday 1st September 2016.

Live life in colour, not monochrome...how redundency can unlock so many opportunities.

Life. Isn't it a curious thing? What makes one person happy will make someone else sad. When it was announced that the office I was working in was closing down and we were all being made redundant, I felt nothing. Those around me were distraught, their lives ended, they were in tears. I was confused. I felt neither joy nor despair, what was wrong with me...surely I should have felt something. Instead with a gallic shrug I continued with the day to day monotony of getting up, going to work, covering for those off sick, and then going home to a night of cooking, cleaning and watching dross on TV.

I was supposed to finish work in April 2015, so the first thing I did was book a holiday for myself for the beginning of May. I decided I would head to Prague, on my own, for a week. I thought it would be a good place to walk, drink tea and get my head together about my future. I had spent twenty years working in a job I had drifted into, I needed time out to decide what to do next, not blunder into the first job that came my way and return to that life of working drudgery. This trip would be my new beginning. Of course that wasn't to be, the closure of my office was not going well so I was asked to stay for several weeks longer to sort the mess out. It was a nice holiday though, and the thing that shocked me the most was that I had been abroad on my own for a week and I had enjoyed it! I'd even managed to fly on my own. I hate flying, it terrifies me, but I did it, without fuss or ceremony, I had just done it!

What else can I do that the last twenty years has stifled? 

12th June 2015, my last day at work. A blank canvas lay ahead of me. I told my partner I would take a couple of months off and then look for a new job. I still felt nothing, no emotional reaction to losing my job and I still had no idea what else to do; so I booked a trip to Barcelona with a friend.

I wanted to see Gaudi's architecture and that cathedral that still isn't finished, I thought I might as well see it now whilst I've nothing better to do. It was an amazing experience, and my friend bless her had found a proper tea shop for me. I went in and the first thing that hit me was how similar it was to the tea places in Prague I visit. I started chatting to the owner who said he had lived in Prague for a while. My friend left me for the afternoon to sit and discuss tea with him!





You really can do anything if your want it badly enough!

It was on my return that I decided the chances of me looking for a job in the next few months was slim. I was enjoying this new found freedom. I used to go to the cinema or the theatre with my "cinema buddy", but she was now travelling 5 hours a day to get to and from her new job, she didn't have time to accompany me to the theatre or the cinema anymore, so I would have to hold my head up and go it alone. I did, and I don't know why I had thought it would be so traumatic, it wasn't. It has led me to the best of both worlds. If there is something I want to see and no-one else is interested I can go and watch something on my own. I don't get to miss out on seeing exceptional plays and talented actors anymore; but if someone wants to come with me, that's even better! It's also nice from my friends point of view, they know I will go on my own, so they can be honest. If they want to come they say yes, if they don't they say no.

I promise I'll look for a job at the end of the summer!

I found my sewing machine. It hadn't been used in years, and I was always good at sewing. At university I used to make dresses for the end of term balls for me and my friends. I even made a few garments when I first started work, but somehow along the way I had stopped. I made five dresses, two tops and three skirts. I then found some blank masks I had bought in Venice several years ago that I "would get around to decorating." It was rather enjoyable doing these craft projects, and more importantly, having the time to do them.




Tom Burke, is he really a guru?

Actually I think it's Tom's fans that are my guru's. I've enjoyed watching Tom on screen for years, but that's never compelled me to pick up a book, or go to the theatre, so why the change? Well it's all down to a TV show called The Musketeers. Many people found Tom through this show, and so fan groups were formed on social media. (Speaking of which, that was also new to me. I accidentally fell into social media when I was considering buying a horse and needed to look for livery for it.) As I started dipping in and out of Twitter I found the Burketeers! I can't say that I contributed that much to conversations but I did pluck up the courage to see if I could join in with a meeting of North East England Burketeers. (I live in North Wales!) The answer was yes, and whilst part of me thought I was deranged going to meet people I had only spoken to on Twitter, I am so glad I did. I met some of the most warm, generous and inspiring ladies I have ever known. I'm going to blame them for the rest of my odd behaviour on my years sabbatical. Yes you read that right...my two months off had suddenly changed to taking a year out, and no I wasn't telling anyone that was my new plan!

It's all about charity!

I had done a quick sketch of Athos sitting on his horse when I was fed up in work and tweeted it. The reaction was surprisingly nice. Taken aback by this I dusted off an old art pad and did a couple of sketches of Tom Burke as Athos from The Musketeers. It was strange holding a pencil again, I had flunked A-Level art at school (a D grade) and had given up on drawing. The drawings were a bit raw, but you could tell who it was, so I donated the sketches to an online site that was raising funds for one of the charities that Tom was involved in. I then heard that another Burketeer was trying to start an online fan magazine. Well I had done journalism in a previous life so I thought I would see if I could still write. I wrote 5 articles and took part in one of the first interviews for the magazine! So thanks to Tom, I had started drawing and writing again, and a few more pictures were donated to the Burketeer shop.



I've got no-one to talk too...

I'm very good at talking! Now I was at home alone, I realised I didn't have anyone to share my nonsense with. I would write a blog!  I wrote my first post on 12th August 2015. It was very short, in fact it was hard to write anything in the first few posts. Who would read this rubbish? It's not like I had an audience to write for...or anything to write about! Or did I? I headed off to Pembrokeshire with a friend to seek out where Tom had filmed Third Star, so I shared my experiences online. I then headed back out for another solo trip to Prague, but this time I was going to record my adventures. I also decided that I was a rubbish Burketeer. All these years that I wouldn't go to the theatre on my own, or indeed travel anywhere on my own, had meant that I had missed out on all of the plays Tom had performed in.(I had actually been working in London during the time some of those plays were being performed, I could have gone if I'd had the inclination to go out instead of being too fearful of venturing out of my hotel room at night!) So I bought all of the play scripts, took them to Prague, read them, made notes and decided to publish my thoughts on each of the plays. How I kicked myself for not seeing them.

Start as you mean to go on!

I met Tom for the first time at London Comic Con in June 2015. My first encounter with him was having a professional photo taken with him. I was so excited I just threw myself at him. I then went to get his autograph, and whilst all around me were nervous at speaking to him...I wouldn't shut up. I don't think I let the poor man get a word in. I told him off for not having any photo's of his character Davy from Third Star and so I gave him a drawing I had done of Davy to sign. Actually, looking back I'm glad that I got my drawing signed, he put a sweet message on it, and my friend managed to record this event for me. It was such an amazing day, meeting lots of Burketeers for the first time, seeing some "old" Burketeer friends that I had met in Newcastle and of course meeting Tom.



A couple of months later, and another opportunity to meet Tom, this time in Newcastle. My friend told me to come up and stay with her and some other Burketeers. Well we had a great night, and even better was to come. Newcastle was a lot quieter than London Comic Con, which meant lots of talking time to Tom. This time I did let him speak. I'm glad, I got new tea shop recommendations for my next trip to Prague! I had found a copy of an old book called Tom Burke by Charles Lever. I couldn't leave that in a dusty old book shop, so I bought it and got him to sign it...the result? Something else to chat about, so I also got some book recommendations from him. A couple of dark books I had never heard of but which I immediately bought and read...well tried to.

My third encounter with Tom was at a charity carol concert in December. "Oi, I've a bone to pick with you!" Sadly for Tom it wasn't third time lucky, I had found something else to tell him off about. "That book you recommended, it necessitated the use of a dictionary and pencil." Imagine my surprise when he agreed and said he'd had the same problem...

Since these meetings I've been fortunate to talk to Tom on a number of occasions. He's such an interesting person to chat to. To think, during my working days, that my closest encounter of him was his picture on a mousemat, never did I think it would be possible to see him in real life, let alone be given the chance to chat to him!

Why don't you blog about the books you've read?

After the carol service I was talking to someone about the books Tom had told me to read. She said I got through a lot of books, so why didn't I put something on my blog about the books I'd read? I thought about this, and she was right. I had read English Literature at university, but this was something else I had sidelined during the working years. I still read the odd book, but not on the scale I used to. I had heard early in the year that Tom was filming War and Peace. I thought I had better read it before I watched it, and I thought it would take me forever to read. Despite it being a busy period in work, I started and finished the book in February 2015. I had even written notes and looked up historical points. I had really thrown myself into the book and loved it. This started me off reading again with a great passion, and so the more I thought about my friends suggestion, the more I thought perhaps I should. I then heard about the 2016 Reading Challenge. Read a book a month and blog about it. I could do that for one of Tom's charities, Box Clever Theatre Company, literature and theatre, a great marriage! And so the challenge began. It is different reading a book for pleasure, and reading a book that you know you have to write about! The challenge is actually harder than I thought but very enjoyable!!!

6 months in...only 6 to go.

The time was flying by. I had drawn for the Burketeer shop, why not start selling stuff for myself? So I opened up a Redbubble shop of my own. That has been running for a while now, but not everyone wants pictures on a t-shirt or a phone cover, so if someone just wants a print of the portraits I have drawn, they can now buy them direct from my Etsy site. I was contacted about doing a special drawing for Howard Charles (Porthos) who had been involved in an accident. I ended up making a get well soon card from his Musketeer fans. It was very special to be asked, and his thank you video message just stunned me!




Recently I remembered that when I was at work my former boss told me I should write a blog about my allotment. I used to laugh at her. I can't write a blog...no-one would read it. I now realise that isn't really the point. Whether people read this or not, writing is a cathartic experience. Even if only one person reads this and feels better about themselves, then that is a job well done. So I now have an allotment blog.  During my year of escapades I let the allotment do it's own thing. I was too busy travelling and having fun to go and weed it. That meant that for the last few weeks I have had to put aside all of my reading, writing and drawing to get on top of things. The result is that I now have an allotment to be proud of, and something new to write about! And that's something else I have realised. My partner wanted the allotment, but he got bored of it after a few years. He didn't go down to it, so I couldn't be bothered to go down either. I think I felt resentful. Why should I do it? It felt like a chore rather than a pleasure. I have to do all the household chores, I'm not doing the allotment too. It was the wrong attitude. I have really enjoyed the last few weeks digging, clearing and making the site my own again. I'm not going to lie, it has been hard work, there have been times I thought I couldn't do it, but I cast those doubts aside and it has been done and it's another achievement to be proud of.

And so the year finally ends...

I got a phone call from a company asking if I would consider working for them full time. It would be doing what I had done before.

I really did not want to go back to my old life, but my visits to watch Tom had cost a fortune, and he had announced he was going to be in another play... I had enjoyed all of the lunacy that the last year had afforded me and there was a fear that if I went back to an office environment it would all be taken away from me. But that could only happen if I let it. I had chosen to stop living the black and white life I had previously lived for one full of colour and adventure!

I therefore agreed to only work a four day week. I need my Friday's to travel and to keep on top of my drawing and writing. I need an early start and finish time so that I don't waste precious hours sitting in traffic crawling home. I agreed to a six-month contract on that basis. If I can keep all of this up, I can continue with the job. If I can't, well there will need to be a discussion. I need money to keep a roof over my head and to do the things I enjoy...but I also need the time to do them!

So this year has not been wasted...I have learnt some very valuable lessons during the last 12 months.
You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Ignore all the naysayers around you. Just remember, they are either too scared or too lazy to try to turn their lives around. Don't let them drag you down to their level. Ignore them. Feel the fear and do what you want to do anyway.



I have read books I would never consider, I have been to different genres of plays and films. I have met my idol (several times now, he's even pulled up a chair and sat down opposite me for a chat after performing on stage) I have met fantastic people who are energetic forward looking people (one has even taught me the virtue of Skype!)  I have traveled on my own and with friends and had countless fun adventures. I now have three blogs and two online shops. I have written for a fanzine. I have sewn an entire new wardrobe. I have created many interesting pieces of artwork. I could go on, but now I'm heading off to make a cup of tea and start packing for the weekend. Where am I going? Oh just to London to see a guy called Tom in a play called The Deep Blue Sea!!!

The Deep Blue Sea

I saw the production of Flarepath earlier in the year, it was fantastic, and I wanted to see more of Terence Rattigan's work. Tom Burke is performing in The Deep Blue Sea as Freddie, a tortured soul and former WWII Spitfire pilot. I don't know how I will react to watching the play, but reading it had me spell bound. Rattingan has created a dark play, full of tortured souls who deserve our empathy and understanding.

The play focus's on Hester, a middle class woman who has left her upper class husband for a former Spitfire pilot. Hester is discovered unconscious in her rented flat by her landlady, having tried to commit suicide. The plays follows on from when she has been found, and whilst it sounds rather a depressing read, it is actually a well written, thought provoking play. 

When I saw the headlines about Tom Burke playing the part of Freddie, they made me think that Freddie was a character to be hated. Hester's life with him was so bad she felt compelled to commit suicide. He was made out to be the villain of the piece, but I did not feel that when I read the play. In fact, at times my sympathies lay at Freddie's door rather than Hester's.

There are four main characters in this story. William Collyer, an upper class gentleman who it could be argued has married beneath him. He is a high court judge and has a large social standing, his lifestyle is one of holding dinner parties and soirees. He undoubtedly loved Hester, but did he show her that love? Their marriage should be questioned, because if everything was so perfect between them, why would Hester leave everything behind her to commence a relationship with a former pilot?

Hester, the centre piece of the story, a middle class woman, the daughter of a vicar. As such she will have lived a comfortable life. She would be educated, but she would not move in the same circles as her husband. Has she married above herself? Did she dream of a grand lifestyle and then find out it wasn't all she imagined. Was she bored? Bored with having to play the dutiful wife when her husband had his friends and wives around for dinner parties? We get a sense of what her early life had been via her artwork. There are a couple of pictures hanging on her wall that she is offering for sale. Both are different in style. One painted in earlier times when she was carefree and happy. Was this the lifestyle she wanted, the bohemian artist; was she not allowed to continue when she married Collyer? She is a needy character, did she think her life was dull with her husband and Freddie could give her the excitement she craved, and the attention she needed?

Freddie, a former Spitfire pilot, always playing Russian Roulette with his life. Firstly as a Spitfire pilot, never knowing if he would make it back from a mission alive, and then as a test pilot, if he got in the sky would he land back safely? Why does he now live his life on a golf course and a whiskey bottle? He didn't want to live with Hester while she was still married. He wanted her to divorce before they got a flat together, but Hester would not divorce her husband. Did this lead to them both tearing each other apart emotionally?

Miller, the doctor demoted to bookie. He has hit the depth of despair but managed to fight back, to see he has a future. It might not be the future he wanted, but he is in a position to understand Hester's delicate state of mind and be more forgiving than Freddie or her husband. Miller has the power to show Hester that her life is worth living, but that she needs to live it for herself, and not be reliant on men to make her life an enjoyable one.

Suicide, which is how the play starts, is the ultimate act a person can commit. It is an act of anger...the person committing suicide is angry with what issues life has dealt them, and the person left behind feels shock, despair, sadness, and then anger. Anger that someone could do such a thing without saying anything. Freddie has witnessed good friends die around him, fighting in a war they had to be part of, who had everything to live for, but their lives were extinguished too early. He himself has headed out in a Spitfire, not knowing whether he will come back or not. He knows that in war you are really fighting for the man next to you, not for your country. To him, considering what he has been through in the war, Hester's act would be met with total anger, so is it really such a shock that towards the end of the play he throws a shilling at her so that she can do the job properly next time? 

Men and women view love rather differently. Men take, women give. Men enjoy the happiness that is given to them, whilst women revel in dishing out that happiness. The problem is when women want that feeling reciprocated, and in hoping that the man they love will make them happy almost certainly ends up with the opposite effect. Hester has not been given the love she craves from her husband. She won't divorce him though, so she is not giving Freddie what he wants, he in turn can not make Hester happy and so the destruction of two souls continues. But Freddie should be respected that he has realised that they are bad for each other, that they are destroying each other and he is now doing something about it. What isn't to be commended is his timing of events, or how he goes about it (forgetting Hester's birthday and losing his temper with her!)

This is a very powerful play and by the end there is a feeling of hope rather than the despair of the beginning. In dragging each other to the bottom of self-destruction, Hester has helped Freddie move on to a new life in America, and Freddie has helped Hester move on to a new life, not reliant on him or her husband, where she can go back to art school and start her life again. In the last few lines of the play, it is clear that they did really love each other, but that they weren't right for each other. Whilst it was hard for them to accept, and difficult to move on, they both knew the only way they could live was to move on.

I think it will be a heart wrenching but enjoyable play to watch.